Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Andy Rooney - These Glasses Are For Beer

Nothing frustrates me more than to see the dirty residue of a fruit smoothie stuck to the inside of one of my favorite beer glasses.

My beer glasses are an integral part of the equation when it comes to enjoying my favorite beverage. The proper presentation in an unspoiled vessel augments the pure joy of the experience of drinking the product of my efforts and nothing detracts from that experience more than knowing that in the recent past the glass was used for something other than it's God given purpose. I don't think I'm alone in my thinking here. God help me if I am.

When I see my favorite mug filled with lumpy chocolate milk, my body seizes up with convulsive muscle spasms, as I stutter, struggling to form some sensible statement about sacralige and proprietary use with quivering lips. O.K. maybe I don't feel quite that bad, but still.

I guess when you're not obsessed with brewing and beer it just doesn't matter but for this fanatical homebrewer there is nothing more insulting than the cavalier disregard for the sacred vessel. Where does this insensitivity come from?

Evidently the pleading for respect continues to fall on deaf ears. Now, I'm not here to name any names (Susan) but I will say that if you're reading this and you're not a beer fanatic listen carefully... the beer glass is like a holy grail or in this case grail(s). They are not to be used willy nilly for any ol' concoction you can pour into them. They are reserved specifically for the many styles of beer, not shrimp cocktails or psyllium imbued juice blends. No milk based product of any sort, no tea, frapaccino, cucumber/lime/chia seed drinks. The next time you reach for a beer glass admiring the beauty and size to hold the perfect amount of orange julius you just whipped up in the Oster blender, don't do it.

On the other hand, and you may call me a hypocrite here, but any kitchen utensil can be used in the beer brewing process including but not limited to: large spoons, thermometers, colanders, measuring cups/spoons and plastic containers of any sort.

Out of a desire for mutual respect, I will refrain from using the kitchen pot holders.


Anonymous said...

My condolences, to Susan. It's a glass container, originally intended for beer but adaptable for many other uses. Just like large spoons, colanders, etc., etc....
As long as they are not abused and left clean, who cares?
With that said, I absolutly agree that the proper glass containing the proper beer is a thing of beauty!

Susan said...

Thanks Mark. Your support is much appreciated. Now, what the hell are these #%*! hops doing in my favorite tea strainer?!?!

Anonymous said...

The brewer's spouse's dilemma:
- a bit of space in the closet (then the entire garage)
- a bit of space in the fridge (now where will the kegerator go?)
Newsflash! Water can be used to brew beer AND wash glasses! Film at eleven...

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